Merry Xmas

Merry Christmas from the Conservative Party.

At this time of year when enjoying roast pheasant and champagne in a country house with 16 bedrooms and a roaring log fire, we'd like to wish the 300,000+ homeless people and the pensioners who no longer receive winter fuel payments a very Merry Christmas. While tucking in to our festive banquet we will no doubt spare a thought for those who have to use one of the 2000+ food banks that we have nurtured from just a handful.

We'd also like to say Merry Xmas to the 20,000 Armed forces personnel, 22,500 Police Officers, numerous public sector workers we've sacked since 2010.

While dancing around to festive tunes in a mansion we always give a big festive shout out to the disabled who have had their rights breached by us, their entitlements stopped and been declared fit for work.

Because it's the time of year when we consider the lost loved ones, beloved family now passed, we'd also like to say Happy Christmas to the families of the 30,000 excess deaths every year, caused by our cuts and austerity. We know a cheery message won't bring your loved ones back, but the richest in the UK have doubled their wealth during austerity, so it's not all bad news.

Please spare a thought for others this festive season. Many are too ill to enjoy the festive season and will be in the NHS enjoying the care of our underpaid nurses and doctors at our partially staffed, lightly funded hospitals, enjoying the very best treatment someone working 80+ hours a week can give.

We are not doing panto this year (outside of parliament), but we will be available for photo-ops at a food bank near you !

So from all at the Conservative party a Merry Christmas and a big thank you for allowing us to rob you blind again this year.