Monday 4 June 2018

Corporate apology template

Dear Pauper,

We are sorry we killed / offended / caused suffering / caused catastrophic environmental damage or anything else you financially deprived lefties like to moan about.

Please be advised our board of directors and shareholders are only concerned with profit. Unless you actually hit us where it hurts (profit margins) we will ignore you and continue to do just as we please.

Please also be aware that we are probably too big to fail, will make more money from this situation than will be fined because of it and therefore no longer give a damn what you think.

Kind Regards,

Profiteering morally devoid incompetents who are ruining the planet.

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